


daffodils down your throat

by akinorii



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, uhh sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26183188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akinorii/pseuds/akinorii
Summary: you suffer from hanahaki disease because you’re hopelessly in love with sokka
Relationships: Sokka (Avatar)/Reader, Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 106





	daffodils down your throat

**Author's Note:**

> this is v angsty imo and the characters are aged up after the first bit, like 22/23. also i have not read the comics or watch LOK so this doesn’t follow any canon plotline to my knowledge. also not edited or anything so beware grammar mistakes lol
> 
> WARNINGS:Coughing up blood, please let me know if there are more!! 
> 
> The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will fill up with flower, they will then proceed to throw, and cough up the petals, (sometimes even the flowers). One of the only ways for the disease to ‘disappear’ is if, the said person returns the feeling (it can’t be resolved with friendship, it has to be genuine feelings of love). The infection can also be removed through surgery, though the feelings and/or memories disappear along with the petals. If they choose neither options, or the feeling is not returned in time, then the patient’s lungs will fill up with flowers, and will eventually suffocate. There is no specific flower for the disease

Daffodils, the flower of unrequited love. A poignant reminder of your one-sided love for Sokka every time you coughed them up. But sitting and watching “yourself” be rejected over and over again was a much more persistent reminder. Why you were even at this stupid play was beyond you, and how Sokka seemed to enjoy it was even farther. 

It wasn’t quite intermission when you felt the oncoming coughs. Your shoulders rolling inward as you heaved. The dull ache that resided in your chest becoming increasingly stronger as you began to cough. You placed your hand over your mouth to hopefully hide the coughing but quickly excused yourself when you could feel the petals in your hand. 

“Does she do that a lot?” Zuko asked, turning around to where Sokka and Suki sat. 

“Who? (Y/n)?” Sokka asked in response, swiveling his head trying to find you. He shrugged when he couldn’t find you, “Yeah, she disappears when she starts coughing sometimes.”

“And none of you have ever thought to check on her?” Zuko asked, his eyebrow raising in question. 

Zuko had noticed it when he first joined the group, hearing your coughing at nights, and the piles of daffodil petals and buds that seemed to be at every campsite. Something was wrong, and unfortunately, he knew what it was.

“Hey, if you care so much why don’t you go check on her?” Sokka leaned back into the seat and slung his arm around Suki. 

“Fine, maybe I will,” he grumbled, more to himself than to Sokka. He felt like he owed you after you accepted him into the group first. But he didn’t understand how everyone else just ignored your obvious condition. 

He exited into the hallway, looking for where you could have gone. He didn’t have to look far to find you on the balcony. 

Zuko felt his heart stop as he watched the vibrant yellow petals fall from your mouth. He hadn’t wanted to be right, but he was, it was Hanahaki. He approached you slowly, raising his hand to place it on your shoulder. 

His eyes widened as you took his arm and twisted behind his back. You released Zuko as soon as you saw it was him. “Oh Agni, I’m sor-” you began to apologize before being interrupted by your wheezing. Another bundle of daffodil buds flew past your lips, leaving a swampy taste on your tongue. 

“I-um, I just uh came to see if you were okay.” His hand came up to scratch the back of his neck in an awkward manner. 

“Does it look or sound like I’m okay?” You asked before balancing yourself on the railing, beginning to see spots from the lack of oxygen. 

“Um, no? But I can help! That- that’s what I’m here for!” 

“You can help me?” Your tone was hopeful, maybe- maybe things would be okay. 

“Well it’s different for everyone, but usually once you reach the final stage you can get the flowers removed,” Zuko answered.

“What happens when they get removed?”

“Typically you lose all memories of the person you loved, some people don’t make it out of surgery though,” he answered, more like assuming since the process hadn’t been the same for him.

“Oh,” you let out in surprise. You weren’t getting the surgery now, but did you really want to forget Sokka?

The rest of the gaang exited the seats, standing in the hallway during the intermission. You looked over to Sokka, Zuko following your gaze. “It’s Sokka, isn’t it.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and nodded, watching him joke around with Suki. Spirits it hurt so bad knowing he could be happy without you there. 

More petals spilled from your lips, the coughing bringing tears to your eyes. Something compelled you to tell Zuko about how you felt, “It hurts so bad Zuko, I just want him to love me but sometimes it feels like he looks right through me.” 

Zuko wrapped an arm around you, trying his best to comfort you as you let the petals and tears flow. 

—

The war was over, but the fighting wasn’t. It had been years now since the war ended, but there was still so much work that needed to be put in for peace to be fully restored. Your disease was almost non-existent, but Zuko kept you around as a precaution. 

The bell on the door gave a slight ding as you pushed the door open, letting Zuko trail in behind you. 

“(Y/n)!” Sokka exclaimed as you and Zuko entered the tea shop. He wrapped his arms around you, unaware of the effects it had on you. 

“Sokka,” you said, trying to mirror his excitement. You gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes before holding him at arm’s length.

“How has my best friend been? I feel like it’s been so long!”

“I’m fine. Being the Firelord’s advisor has treated me… well.” You looked back to Zuko giving him a smile. You really couldn’t have been in a better place than at Zuko’s side. “It has been quite a while, two years or so I think? How is the Southern Water Tribe doing?” 

“We’ve been doing good, the rebuilding is going well. I have some exciting news, but it has to wait until Katara and Aang show up.” 

You sat next to Zuko making small talk with Toph, trying your hardest to suppress the need to cough. You couldn’t help but be mad at yourself. You thought you were over Sokka, clearly, you weren’t.

Katara and Aang finally showed up 15 minutes later. You greeted the two of them with a smile, watching them walk with intertwined hands.

Sokka stood up, gaining everyone’s attention. “Ok since everyone is here now I have some announcements! Number one is I’m going to work with Zuko as the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador!” Your eyes instantly snapped to Zuko, giving him an incredulous look. 

He mouthed you a ‘sorry’ before turning his attention back to Sokka. “Number two is, Suki and I are getting married!” Sokka grabbed Suki and his joined hands to raise it in the air.

You moved your stare from Zuko back to Sokka, eyes wide. You felt all the oxygen leave your lungs as started a fit of coughs. It felt like someone was stepping on your chest, trying to break your heart out of your ribcage. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from coughing, the flower flying onto the table. There it sat, one single, bright yellow, fully bloomed Daffodil covered in splatters of your blood. 

The single daffodil representing the misfortunes about to occur, representing the final stages until your possible death. 

Everyone stopped and stared at you, unmoving before Zuko stood up. The legs of his chair making a screech against the tile. “(Y/n) and I have some duties to attend to, it was nice seeing you all!”He grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, dragging you out of the shop. 

“What just happened?” Aang asked, speaking for everyone in the room. 

“I don’t know, but it’s not good,” Katara answered, eyes still fixed on the daffodil. 

You didn’t speak to Zuko on the way back to the Fire Nation, completely ignoring him until you arrived back at the palace. 

You exploded breaking your silence, “Wh- I don’t even know where to start. How did you ever think it was a good idea to have him here? Or did you forget the fact that I’m dying because of him? You could’ve at least told me?” 

“I-I know I just thought that since it’s been so long maybe your disease went away, and we do need him here for negotiations with the Southern Water Tribe. I’m sorry, please forgive me,” he pleaded, taking your hands into his own and jutting out his lip.

You sighed, pretending to think about your answer, “Well I guess since you’re the Firelord I have to, besides who can say no to you.”

It turned out a lot of people could say no to him, mostly old crotchety men stuck in the former traditions of the Fire Nation.

“We can’t possibly bring back the Fire Lily Festival! It’s illogical, a waste of time, money, and resources. And what will the people think, considering you haven’t wed or even considered finding a Firelady, the whole festival is about love. A real Firelord would-” one of the advisors spoke, before being cut off by you. 

“That’s quite enough from you Advisor Yu. I’m sure I speak for the Firelord when I say you’re being released… immediately.” You got onto your knees for the sitting position you were in, making a shooting motion with your hands, trying to usher the elderly man out “Anyone else who would like to question the Firelord’s relationship status can take it up with me in an Agni Kai.” 

You didn’t have to look over to know that Zuko was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. You let out a sigh and sat back down fully. You heard the intake of air that came from Zuko as he was about to speak but missed his chance when a slow clap was heard from the door. 

30-minutes late and making an entrance, it had to be Sokka. “That was quite the show,” he smirked before taking the place of the advisor who had just left. The spot oh-so-conveniently placed in front of you. 

“How nice of you to join us, Ambassador Sokka,” Zuko teased, shooting Sokka a look of amusement. “Well then if there are no objections let us move into the preparations of the parade.”

You seemed to tune out the dull drone of Zuko’s voice as you made eye contact with Sokka. Your eyes moved down to his lips, speaking silently, “Parade?” His eyebrows stitching his expression into one of confusion. 

“Later,” you mouthed back, refocusing on Zuko’s voice. 

—

You waited for the rest of the ambassadors and advisors to clear the room, wanting a moment with your friends. You placed your forehead against the wooden table, letting out a groan. 

“Aren’t you so glad I’m here?” Sokka spoke, laughing a bit at the end. 

“Yeah, maybe my advisors will start being competent in your presence,” Zuko answered sarcastically. You laughed and picked your head up, finding Zuko’s head in your previous position. 

“Hey, maybe you can marry Zuko and get people off his back. I mean Suki is nice, but Zuko…” you trailed off your sentence, giving Zuko a look before the two of you burst into giggles. “Do you have more work or will you be joining us humble servants at dinner tonight?”

“I have to write to the Earth King, but we’re still on for tomorrow at the pond?”

“Of course! Make sure you eat and please go to bed at a decent time tonight.” 

He only shook his head and rolled his eyes, turning on his heel to make his way to the Firelord’s study. You watched him down the hallway before turning in the direction of the kitchens. “So you and Zuko, huh?” Sokka asked, elbowing you almost painfully in the side. 

“What are you talking about?”

“You and Zuko. You’re totally into him, but don’t worry I get the vibe he likes you too,” he reassured you, though why he felt the need to assure you was passed your comprehension. 

He put his arm around your shoulders pulling you closer to him in a side-hug. You were grateful that he couldn’t see your face as he continued to talk, waving a hand as if the words were right in front of him, “Firelady (Y/n), it has a nice ring to it.” 

You laughed awkwardly, “Not really? Besides, I’m kinda in love with someone else.”

“Ooh spill! Who is it? Do I know them? What nation are they from?” Sokka interrogated, but he wasn’t going to get anything out of it. 

“As if I’m going to tell you, Mr. ‘Late On My First Day’!” you teased. 

“Whatever, I’ll get out of you one day!” he declared before digging his fingers into your sides. You let out a shriek, twisting away from him. 

“Stop it!” You swatted his hands away from your waist and continued laughing your way down the hallway. 

Sokka ignored the blush on your face in favor of trying to figure out what he was feeling. Was it jealous of Zuko? He pushed the feeling down, happy to be spending the moment with you. 

—

Months passed by from when Sokka had arrived, he usually stayed for a handful of days before returning back to the South Pole. You had felt better than you had in years with how little you seemed to cough now. 

Today was the day of the parade and you Spirits were exhausted. The amount of stress that you and Zuko had been under was immeasurable. 

You had to push yourself away from last-minute details to make yourself presentable. You opened the door and re-adjusted your clothing, not noticing the two men that stood against the wall. 

“Wow (Y/n),” Sokka and Zuko seemed to sigh out at the same time. You were adorned in the deep crimson and gold colors of the Fire Nation. You looked breathtaking, it was like someone had Airbended the oxygen out of the room. 

“Oh!” You could feel the blood rush to your face as you curled into yourself trying to somehow make yourself smaller. “Uh, hi guys. Let’s get going.” You hooked your arms into both of theirs and made your way to the floats. 

You waved Sokka off as he made his way to one of the Water Tribe floats. You turned back to Zuko, whose arm was still interlocked with your own, visible distress written on his face. 

“Are yo-” 

“(Y/n) I can’t do this. What if we get attacked? Or what if Advisor Yu was right, that I can’t be a real Firelord without a wife? What if the float st-”

“Hush yourself, everything is going to be fine! I’ve checked and double-checked everything. Security is on the float with us, and why do you care what some old gasbag said? The people adore you, you have a fan club, and you’re the prettiest princess in all the lands.” Zuko couldn’t help but roll his eyes at your teasing, but it did help him significantly. “Now let’s get up there and the sooner we go the sooner we can party with the turtleducks!” 

The parade went off without a hitch, the people’s joy was almost tangible in the brisk air. The float completed its circuit and you hopped down, finding Sokka already waiting. “Do you want to go into the town? I heard something about food… and a celebration.”

“Zuko and I were going to go back to the pa-” You started feeling bad that you wouldn’t be able to go, but were cut off by Zuko.

“Go! You need a break from stuffy old me anyway.” You opened your mouth to protest but he quickly shut you down again. “No buts or I’ll make it an order from your Firelord.” You gave him a half-hearted glare before he walked away.

You made your way through the crowds to a food stand, knowing that was really the only thing Sokka wanted. You found a table and sat across from each other. He had scarfed down the noodles and duck before offering to finish your plate, 

The slight breeze in the air had caused some of the Fire Lilies from the parade to float through the air. One landing perfectly between the two of you. A nostalgic sigh left Sokka as he looked down at it. 

“I remember the first time I saw Fire Lilies. I was with Suki and she told me what they meant, and I just knew I was so in love with her. I miss her every day (Y/n), it’s so hard being in love and not being able to see them every day, to not be able to hold them, to be close to them, but it doesn’t matter because I love her. Spirits I- I can’t wait until we get married so I can love her unconditionally. She’s the only one for me, (Y/n), I couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else.” 

His head was turned away as you let your silent tears stream down your face. All the hope that had built up over the months was gone, there was absolutely no chance anymore. “(Y/n) why are you crying?” Sokka came face to face with you, reaching a hand to wipe away the tears. 

You flinched away from his hand, trying to speak but instead came out a rasp. You started wheezing, your chest contracting before you started coughing. There was something stuck in your throat and you started to convulse, blood coming up. 

Your vision started to go fuzzy and you tried to blink it away, standing up from your seat. You swayed dangerously before passing out. Sokka scooped you up in his arms, “Please be okay, (Y/n).” He couldn’t stop but he realized this was his greatest fear, losing you. Not Suki, or Katara, you. He loved you, and it made sense. Everything made sense, the way he felt around you, the insistent need for him to be around you all the time, his jealousy towards Zuko. It all made sense. 

—

“You can’t go in, Sokka!”

“Why? She’s my best friend!” he shouted, trying to push past Zuko.

Zuko scoffed, “If you were her best friend you would have paid more attention to her to know what’s going on, to know that she was in love with you.” He stopped pushing Sokka away to cross his arms, “You’re lucky enough that I paid attention and that I loved her enough to take care of her.”

Sokka’s eyes widened at the confession, “But I do! I always have, I just- I didn’t figure it out until now.” 

“You’re getting married, Sokka, it’s too late,” Zuko spit out almost bitterly. 

“You can come in now,” the doctor told the two, eyes wandering between the two, before skirting away.

You rolled over on the mattress, trying to find a comfortable position. Instead, you opted to move to a sitting position. A Water Tribe man ran up to you embracing you in his muscular arms.

You blinked in confusion, still out of it, “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

The man’s eyes widened, releasing you immediately, “I-I’m sorry, I must have been mistaken.” He backed away and left the room. Zuko giving him a sympathetic look as he walked out with tear-filled eyes.

Daffodils were a flower of new beginnings. Your new beginning with Zuko. A new beginning of pain that would reside in Sokka’s chest until he died.

**Author's Note:**

> this might have a part 2...


End file.
